Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize