I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
