why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize