That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
