I have demons in me.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
