Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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