My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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