I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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