I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
