How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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