Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
