I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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