I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Randomize
