Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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