you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
