i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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