hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
