i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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