WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The uberlube is also flammable
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
