Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
