At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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