YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
