i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
