There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
