i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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