dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
