VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
