yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
