You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
