Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
