Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize