I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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