I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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