I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
