Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
