I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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