R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
