just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
