Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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