I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The power of my boobs compel you
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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