why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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