I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
