WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
