You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
