He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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