A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
