I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
