We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
