dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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