At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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