I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
