So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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