There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
