you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
