if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize