all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
