Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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