is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Shame - the story of my life.
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