I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
