More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Randomize
