i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
