ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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