do herpes really smell.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
