you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Who died my cat blue again?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize