I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
